


The Heart Knows

by PeregrineWilliams



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M, Trans Male Character, trans boy Hungary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-16
Updated: 2015-05-16
Packaged: 2018-03-30 21:23:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3952243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeregrineWilliams/pseuds/PeregrineWilliams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>pretty self-indulgent trans!Hungary drabble thing that I may continue if i get the inspiration for it</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Heart Knows

**Author's Note:**

> written in second-person because I'm homestuck trash and I didn't know how else to write it without revealing pronouns too soon i'm sorry

"Gil?"

He turns from the friend he was talking to: Antonio, you remember. His eyes scan for the source of the voice and land on you, squinting in confusion.

All at once he recognises you and visibly stiffens and takes a step back. You didn't really expect anything different.

"...Lizzie?"

You smile weakly, not really having it in you to meet his eyes at the moment. You hate letting him see you so... lost like this. "Uh... sorta."

"... Are you okay?"

That, you didn't expect. Not this soon at least. It sounded like actual concern in his voice. Would he really forgive you that easily? "Umm... not really," you admit reluctantly and sigh, still not meeting his eyes. "Look, I know we haven't seen eachother for like a year, and before that we really weren't on the best terms, but... you used to be my friend and you might be the only one I have left right now, and I could really use your help."

He seems confused, still taking in your appearance, you guess, but the stiffness is gone now. He takes a step closer to you again and suddenly you're wrapped in a tight hug. The surprise of it almost brings forth the tears you've been forcing yourself not to shed for the past week. You push them back down enough to awkwardly hug him back.

"What do you need?" he asks quietly.

"...A place to stay."

You feel him nod and he lets you go, staring to walk. Antonio stares between the two of you and you both follow Gilbert out of the university cafeteria building.

 

* * *

 

He opens the door to his dorm room apartment that he apparently shares with his two best friends. It’s a complete disaster, obviously, but pleasantly not rotten-smelling.

“We have a couch bed,” he says as he helps you carry in some of your stuff from your car.

“That will be great. thanks. Really,” you say, sitting down with a sigh. He shrugs dismissively and sits down beside you. You suppose you probably owe him an explanation. For everything. A big explanation. You sigh again and rub your head.

Before you can start, however, he holds out a controller to you. “Want to play Smash? You used to like it a lot...”

You manage a real smile. “Yeah. Yeah I do.” He grins at you and you play a few rounds, slowly relearning the moves. He teases you about how awful you are until you manage to beat him, after which he continues to plead ‘lucky shot!’ no matter how large your winning streak grows. Somewhere along the line you start to feel at home again. At home, just a little kid again, sleeping over at Gil’s house and playing video games until bedtime. For a moment you can almost pretend the last five years never happened.

Antonio and his other friend Francis return a few hours later and join you in the game, after nothing more than a nonchalant word from Gilbert that you’ll be staying over for a while. You have the perfect number of players now, and after a pizza dinner and a few rounds of Kart you’re wishing you could stay here forever. If they all understand, that is. You hope at least one of them will understand.

When the others get up to go to bed, Gilbert shuts off the tv and stretches out on the couch. “So, you want to tell me what this is all about, Liz?” he asks once they leave.

You take a deep breath and steel yourself for whatever reaction he might have. You feel a lot better about it than earlier though, and you silently thank him for knowing how to get you to relax first. “...It’s Eli,” you start.

“What?”

“My name. Eli. Not Liz anymore.”

He looks at you, confused but not as surprised as you thought he might be. “So you... think you’re a boy again?”

“I think... I was always a boy. I just got confused for a while, because when I started to look different everyone else said I was a girl and so I was supposed to act like it, you know? And then a lot of stuff happened, and I got adopted, and Roderich happened, and we stopped being friends, and then... and then I broke up with Roderich, and then I figured out that I should be me, not what they wanted me to be. I guess.”

He’s silent for a long while, the quietest you’ve seen him, and you feel the anxiety begin to build again until he starts to nod. “...That makes sense.“

“It does?”

“Yeah.” He crosses his arms behind his head on the couch and stares off, still thinking. “I mean, you got really lame when you started acting like a girl. You weren’t even a fun girl. Not like you used to be. I think I was kind of mad at you now that I look back, because I sort of felt like that girl took my friend away. And that’s why I was such a jerk to you in highschool.

“...Sorry about that,” he adds slightly sheepishly.

“No it’s okay, I pushed you away too. My parents thought you were a bad influence.”

He snorts a laugh. “Baddest damn influence there is.”

You smile a little. “And I guess I just had too much fun being boys with you, you know? And then it was harder to be around you and not want to go back to that.”

“Yeah well you should have never left.”

“Yeah. Sorry it took this long for me to figure that out.”

He bumps your shoulder with his. “Well at least you got here. I... I missed Eli, you know?”

You bump back. “...I missed him too.”

He looks at you strangely for a moment longer then quickly turns away. “So, what do you need from me then?”

You blink at him curiously but answer anyways. “Well for one thing I need you to help me get back into being a boy again.”

“Done. Just hang around us a few days and you’ll get back in the swing of things fine if I know you. You can have some of our old clothes too. Stuff that’s small on us now will probably fit you and I doubt the guys will mind. And we need to get you a better haircut. Seriously, did you try to go disney and chop it off with a sword or something?“

“Scissors...” you mutter to his laugh.

“So what’s the other thing?”

You stare down at your lap. “Umm... well I’d like help finding a job and some... permanent housing.”

“Huh? I thought your dad had that big house with-”

“Yeah... uh... he kicked me out.”

He sits up a little straighter. “What?”

You sigh. “I had been planning this for a few months now, and I had found this one doctor that did stuff like... removing people’s boobs if they didn’t want them anymore, and I didn’t, so I contacted him. When my parents found out they just kind of, you know, told me to either be a proper lady or get out.”

“Damn...” he hugs you again, and you hold him tight. “Man I’m... I’m really sorry.” He’s quiet for a bit again and then lets you go. “Look... I mean, maybe you don’t want to but if you did get a job I bet the others would be cool with you taking a cut of the rent on this place, if you wanted to stay here long-term. With us.”

“Really?”

He sounds almost as excited about the idea as you are. “Yeah! I mean, I’ll have to talk it over with them tomorrow but even if they say no I’ll probably force them into it anyways... especially if it’s about the boy thing I will totally beat both of their asses if they say anything remotely-”

“So... you’re really okay with it? The boy thing?”

“Yeah man, no problem. You were a bro once upon a time. Now you’re a bro again.”

He holds out his fist to you. You hesitate only a moment before putting your fist against his and performing the secret handshake you made up when you were kids. You didn’t realise you remembered it until just now.

He grins at you for a moment and then gets up quickly. ”Well uh... I should get to bed. Early classes, you know.” He helps pull out the couch bed for you and finds a spare blanket and pillow, and then retreats to his room. “... Goodnight Eli,” he says before he shuts the door.

You smile at him as you settle in. “Goodnight Gil.”


End file.
